Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Day That Superman Died

In the true spirit of a Dear Friend I am going to do this @dir_awesomeness style, my style.  I feel that he would want me to be true to myself just as he was true to himself.   

"If there's one thing I've learned
It's that we never feel the heat until we get burned
But we try so hard not to die
Sometimes we forget to appreciate life" - The Spill Canvas; Appreciation and the Bomb

I've pondered on this all day.  To write a blog or to write anything at all.  I've read all the other blogs and I thought to just leave it to the professionals.  I didn't have pictures with him.  I've had pictures where we are in the same frame as each other.  I've been to tweet ups and dinner crew events together and never really got a chance to talk to him.  Despite this I've learned that while we are trying so hard to survive, or as the quote above says "But we try so hard not to die, Sometimes we forget to appreciate life," that Ryan never stopped living.  He appreciated life, and unknowingly taught me that we need to do the same.  I was never worried when i never got to see him or talk to him, because there was always twitter or Facebook to talk to him.  There were times when I needed his expertise on something and he would reply with an email just as fast.  He may not have been faster than a speeding plane, and he may have had difficulty leaping a building in a single bound, but he was a real life Superman to the rest of us, and that Superman has passed, and he will be missed.  

"Have you ever wondered what marks our time here? If one life can really make an impact on the world... or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives. For better... or worse."

Ryan has changed many lives.  I think by now we know how unselfish he is and how he thought so low of himself while raising people in a pedestal.  He always had a way of making people feel comfortable and other safe.  When Ryan was on the job he made sure it was done and it was done right.  Sara Katahira said it correctly when she said that "I only wish he could have seen himself through our eyes. " I think he would have been really proud of what he did for us.  A good friend told me today that we are friends for a reason.  All of us.  Something made our paths cross and eventually our paths will end.  It's up to you to choose how to continue it.  I think that Ryan would want us to continue our lives as best as possible.  Sure there will be sadness and tears and I'm still shedding tears reading anything with his name in it, but I think that we need to continue on in his name.  

"You ever look a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background?. It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other peoples life have we been in. Were we a part of someone's life when their dream came true or were we there when their dream died. Did we keep trying to get in? As if we were somehow destined to be there or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone elses life, and not even know it."

Ryan never made anyone feel like a stranger.  I remember for my birthday this past year I was debating if I should even do anything to celebrate.  About two weeks before I decided we should celebrate and I asked Sara Ishizaki to call up whoever for the after dinner festivities.  Sure as the sun shines Ryan was there with the rest of the dinner crew.  First one to shake my hand and wish me a happy birthday.  I think that was one of the better birthdays that I have had.  We celebrated again a week later at Sara and My Ten year reunion.  Sure he looked out of place but he owned it, true to form he was his usual self and I enjoyed sharing that experience with him.  In fact he was one of the first people that I met when I first joined twitter three names ago.  He was there for everyone of them never judging me or asking me what was happening.  He was just there, watching, helping and guiding.  

"To all my friends, Where do I start
I know I'd be dead without you in my heart"

To all of my friends, Ryan has affected us all in one way or another and for the way he affected me will stay with me forever.  With the way he looked when he heard that Jen Yue could punch me in the face and I would still buy her dinner, to giving me shit for not showing up to tweetball, or encouraging me to fight Sara for mayor of IHOT, or even showing up to a reunion with a LIVESTRONG bracelet for me, he'll be there in my heart encouraging me to be me and to help other people.  

I said this on your facebook page but I feel that you should hear this again.  You are the true definition of a man and I hope that one day that you will guide me again to become half the man you were, so that I may one day be a part of peoples lives just the way you are now...

I can't think of the proper way to end this so I am gonna borrow this from a fellow twitter person...

"If all tears could build a stairway, & memories a lane, I think we would all walk right up to Heaven And bring you home again RIP @"

Monday, February 15, 2010

Do one thing that scares you everyday

"I've had to say good-bye more times than I may have like, but everyone can say that. And no matter how many times we have to do it - even if it's for the greater good, it still stings. And although we will never forget what we've given up, we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward. What we can't do is live our lives afraid of the next good-bye because chances are they are not going to stop. The trick is to recognize when a good-bye can be a good thing - when it's a chance to start again."

 Out of all the words in the English language there are two words that are the easiest to spell, easiest to pronounce and at the same time, the hardest to say.  Keep in mind that I am indeed not an expert, but just hear me out.  One word would be Love.  A Short, sweet, simple, one syllable word that can have many multiple meanings that can be deciphered easily or may contain many hidden messages that the other person may have trouble seeing.  The other most difficult one syllable word is Sorry.  A simple sorry can change the course of many lives or paths or actions.  Now as an adult that are many things that you don’t want to do that you need to do.  It’s part of life, part of growing up, and part of being a grown up.  Saying sorry is one of those things that can easily fix something that has been damaged or broken. 

There aren’t many things that really get me upset, or scare me.  But there are a number things that i am willing to overlook when something goes wrong in my life.  But when you decide to slander me online, talk shit about me and then pretend like nothing happened, I think that’s where I should draw the line.  And even after I drew this imaginary line all you had to do was reach out and apologize to me, and then everything would have been fine.  But you decide to play this game that for some reason you just can’t stop playing.  Your playing the game that you just pretend that nothing happened and that everything is the same and that nothing has changed except the fact that I haven’t spoken to you in four months.  Now I don’t know why you decide to blame the rest of the world for all your problems, but that is one of the reasons why I stopped talking to you.  Among the other issues that I have, one of them is your inability to take responsibility for your actions.  All I have heard from you so far is that you are blaming someone else for your current situation and your past actions.  When in fact, yes that maybe true, but you always have the ability to control yourself and your actions.  You let yourself become this person.  No one else held a gun to your head and made you do the things that you did.  So you'll have to excuse my inability to let you in again, because like you, i am placing the blame on someone else.  And i realize that this is totally wrong, but given the fact that history always repeats itself and the fact that karma is indeed a bitch,  then I think you'll see my point.  How long will it take for you to treat me like dirt, and then blame it on someone else? If you can't apologize to anyone how can you expect to keep anyone else around you as a friend? Sure you have tons of acquaintances, and maybe one or two true friends, but how long til they abandon you? Not everyone is like me.  Not everyone is willing to just let things go and never resolve them.  But all you have to do is say sorry, and that will get the ball rolling.,  Until that happens, well i guess we'll just have to see how long it will take for the cycle to perpetuate itself.  Hopefully Karma will get you first, then maybe you'll actually learn something.  

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Social Tip #147 - Keep your Perspective

as originally posted by Crazy Myka Fox (http://mykafox.blogspot.com/2009/09/social-tip-147-keep-your-perspective.html)

I have been thinking about this statement that Myka Fox said. "They say life is precious. Why? Why is it precious? Why is it so rare? It certainly doesn’t feel rare right now. As long as I've known it, life has never been anything but abundant."

In the 27 years that i have been in existence and maybe 7 of those in which i was coherent enough to understand what was going on I haven't actually thought that life was precious. I was always taught that you should live your life as you want. Don't worry about things that could happen. No consequences.

Also within those 20 years of coherent existence i wondered alot about what made a super hero so super.  Was it their powers? Was it their selfishness or selflessness? Was it the people that supported and loved them or was it that they gave everything they had to save someone or defeat a villain?


I sometimes wonder, on tv there is always that one guy that is always saving the girl from a potential danger or a dangerous situation.   Take for instance The O.C.'s Ryan Attwood or One Tree Hill's Lucas Scott.  No matter what the problem was they always sacrificed themselves to save their respective woman.  Ryan, no matter who he was dating at the time, always managed to save said girl as well as always somehow get Marissa, the love of his life, out of trouble.  He almost always managed to make it worse, but somehow things always worked out.  Just the same for Lucas Scott.  Whether he was dating Brooke Davis  or Peyton Sawyer he always managed to save both of them from whatever impending danger they may have been in or are in.  Both of these men acted without a single thought about their safety or the consequences they just rushed in without a thought and saved the day.  

But how do they know who is worth saving and who isn't? What makes them so invaluable to the main character that they must always be around to save them? Is it because they know that if anything happened to said females that they would not be able to exist? Or if they were hurt they wouldn't hear the end of it? Or could it possibly be that there are moments when said females actually opened up whether it be with the kindness of their heart, the openess of their hearts, or the tender moments that they shared that helped him realize and helped her display that there is in fact a kink in her armor and that she actually has feelings, enabling him to realize that she isn't as strong as he once thought she was.  

I mean God forbid we actually show any emotion or to let the world know that they or we are vulnerable.  But what do you do with that vital piece of information. Do you use it against their will and hurt them? Or do you protect that information with your life, your heart or your soul? 

I guess thats what separates the good from the bad, the villains from the superheroes.  They take that information and put it in their hearts, and without a thought they rush to save the day.  And just when you think that they are defeated they use that vital piece of information and without regards they attempt a last ditch effort. The one final play that will either end their lives or immortalize them forever.

But what happens when you make that last ditch effort and you defeat the villains and the one that you swore to protect decides to turn on you?  Do you say good bye before you sacrifice more or do you not say goodbye at all?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Rib Challenge!!!

On Sunday October 18th, 2009 I was privileged to attend the Rib challenge.  Here is a little back story.  Every Tuesday and Friday Aunty Kris, Rudy and I go walking and we just happened to talk about food.  It came out that Rudy is the best at making EVERYTHING... So we decided to challenge.  Mike's ribs vs. Rudy's Ribs... Here is how it went.

On one side of the plate, side A, please give a round of applause to challenger (by default) Mike "The Mechanic" MatsuokaaaaaAAAAAAA!!!!

*kids were hungry at the time so there was no real cheering... only from Aunty Lisa who was hungry*

On the other side of the plate, side B, please give a warm welcome to the self proclaimed Best Rib Recipe, Rudy "Princess" SteellllleeeeeEEEEEEE!!!!

The standing crowd watched in awe (and probably hunger) at the judges who devoured their little samples... Each contestant watched in eagerness as the judges casted their votes, and needless to say the judges made their decision...


Welcome back to the first annual Rib challenge, where the officials have finished tallying up the final scores... The judges have spoken and the final results of the Rib Challenge are...

really close

With a combined score of 33 points your ribs went up at against the man who knows every recipe in his head

*dramatic pause*

Mike... I am sorry but you placed 2nd...

Rib A

Rudy "Princess" Steele with the closest margin of victory in the history of the Challenge series,

* Final dramatic pause*

is your champion with 34 points!!!!!

Rib B

Congratulations Princess!!!

Judges Ballots



Photobucket Judges 1 Judges

Thursday, October 15, 2009

This is what you get when you watch too much tv

"If you ask me, we go to the movies because we want to see fairy tales. A sleeping queen woken by her true love’s kiss; a princess who puts aside her jewels to make her way in the world; lovers torn apart being brought back together. But life isn’t a fairy tale and happy endings are few and far between. In life, the young queen becomes a tyrant and takes her subjects to war, so that’s why we need movies to remind us that, despite it all, love can still spring in the most unlikely of places and that sometimes even fairy tales can come true" -Gossip Girl

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Crazy Football Weekend

Well congrats to all the 3-0 teams this weekend. I am still trying to catch up on all the action but from what i know... GO COLTS!! and the Jets too i guess... J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!! and thank god for florida... hope tebow is alright by next week. i give a mild yay for minnesota and go GREEN BAY!!! But i will post more soon, i just gotta catch up... but on a side note, who think that clevland is gonna win an NBA championship this year? Can shaq actually do it?? we'll see...