Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Day That Superman Died

In the true spirit of a Dear Friend I am going to do this @dir_awesomeness style, my style.  I feel that he would want me to be true to myself just as he was true to himself.   

"If there's one thing I've learned
It's that we never feel the heat until we get burned
But we try so hard not to die
Sometimes we forget to appreciate life" - The Spill Canvas; Appreciation and the Bomb

I've pondered on this all day.  To write a blog or to write anything at all.  I've read all the other blogs and I thought to just leave it to the professionals.  I didn't have pictures with him.  I've had pictures where we are in the same frame as each other.  I've been to tweet ups and dinner crew events together and never really got a chance to talk to him.  Despite this I've learned that while we are trying so hard to survive, or as the quote above says "But we try so hard not to die, Sometimes we forget to appreciate life," that Ryan never stopped living.  He appreciated life, and unknowingly taught me that we need to do the same.  I was never worried when i never got to see him or talk to him, because there was always twitter or Facebook to talk to him.  There were times when I needed his expertise on something and he would reply with an email just as fast.  He may not have been faster than a speeding plane, and he may have had difficulty leaping a building in a single bound, but he was a real life Superman to the rest of us, and that Superman has passed, and he will be missed.  

"Have you ever wondered what marks our time here? If one life can really make an impact on the world... or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one man can change many lives. For better... or worse."

Ryan has changed many lives.  I think by now we know how unselfish he is and how he thought so low of himself while raising people in a pedestal.  He always had a way of making people feel comfortable and other safe.  When Ryan was on the job he made sure it was done and it was done right.  Sara Katahira said it correctly when she said that "I only wish he could have seen himself through our eyes. " I think he would have been really proud of what he did for us.  A good friend told me today that we are friends for a reason.  All of us.  Something made our paths cross and eventually our paths will end.  It's up to you to choose how to continue it.  I think that Ryan would want us to continue our lives as best as possible.  Sure there will be sadness and tears and I'm still shedding tears reading anything with his name in it, but I think that we need to continue on in his name.  

"You ever look a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background?. It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other peoples life have we been in. Were we a part of someone's life when their dream came true or were we there when their dream died. Did we keep trying to get in? As if we were somehow destined to be there or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone elses life, and not even know it."

Ryan never made anyone feel like a stranger.  I remember for my birthday this past year I was debating if I should even do anything to celebrate.  About two weeks before I decided we should celebrate and I asked Sara Ishizaki to call up whoever for the after dinner festivities.  Sure as the sun shines Ryan was there with the rest of the dinner crew.  First one to shake my hand and wish me a happy birthday.  I think that was one of the better birthdays that I have had.  We celebrated again a week later at Sara and My Ten year reunion.  Sure he looked out of place but he owned it, true to form he was his usual self and I enjoyed sharing that experience with him.  In fact he was one of the first people that I met when I first joined twitter three names ago.  He was there for everyone of them never judging me or asking me what was happening.  He was just there, watching, helping and guiding.  

"To all my friends, Where do I start
I know I'd be dead without you in my heart"

To all of my friends, Ryan has affected us all in one way or another and for the way he affected me will stay with me forever.  With the way he looked when he heard that Jen Yue could punch me in the face and I would still buy her dinner, to giving me shit for not showing up to tweetball, or encouraging me to fight Sara for mayor of IHOT, or even showing up to a reunion with a LIVESTRONG bracelet for me, he'll be there in my heart encouraging me to be me and to help other people.  

I said this on your facebook page but I feel that you should hear this again.  You are the true definition of a man and I hope that one day that you will guide me again to become half the man you were, so that I may one day be a part of peoples lives just the way you are now...

I can't think of the proper way to end this so I am gonna borrow this from a fellow twitter person...

"If all tears could build a stairway, & memories a lane, I think we would all walk right up to Heaven And bring you home again RIP @"

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